Family Forever

Author’s Note: This is a narrative about how my basketball team this year. It’s about how we will always be a family no matter what because of how much we have been through just this year. I will demonstrate my knowledge of creating a thesis and then bringing up the same thesis in my conclusion but in a different way.

Ten girls in all in the same uniform; same socks, shoes and hair. We are all connected in a way that is hard to describe and even harder to have with anyone else. This team of ours wasn't just a team, it was a support system, a group of friends but most of all a family. But, all good things must come to an end. Even though we are done on the court all ten of us will still be a family no matter what.

Each of us going off in a different direction, some to never play again others to play in high school and college. But, not matter where we go in life we will always remember our team. We basically spent 9 months with each other including summer league.  That's what is was, 9 months of good memories. Yes, we had our lows but, we came over them as a team, and never let them bring us down.

I am proud to say that we placed second in state, I am proud to say that we beat the three time state champs Waupun, but I am most proud of is me being able to say that I was on a team with these amazing girls. When the championship game ended tears rolled down our faces, the tears weren't because we lost. The tears were because we wouldn't play a basketball game together ever again. Some of us will play on the same teams but it just won't be the same without half of the team.

We are all the friends that could be life long. I care for every single player and coach on this team that would take me days to describe my feelings towards them. I love them each in a different way and will forever have a place in my heart for them. We all have our jokes and our memories that we will never ever let slip our minds.

The main point is that family is family forever. No matter where we go in life or what we do in life we will always love each other. Nothing that happens can ever change the way we feel about each other and the memories we share. Even though we aren’t on the court as a team anymore off the court we are and always will be a family.

Why Must You Go?

Author’s Note: This is a short creative piece about a girl that loses her father in car accident. The story takes place right as the funeral is about to start. It is about how she wants to remember him not her last dismantled sight of him.

Seeing the old rusted red car on top on a even more red cover body, didn't seem real. What seemed even more impossible is that my dad was the figure cover in even more red blood. I could see the bones from his leg racing from his skin, breaking the gentle flesh. I have replayed this scene in my head thousands of time since the horrible day. How could this be my dad? Just how? Going from the man who willingly picked me up from school everyday, and if he was in a good mood took me to get ice cream. We would always talk about basketball, it was our way of bonding.

Looking down upon the cherry red Cassatt, I don't want to remember him like this. His pale white skin, cold to the touch. His once the greenest of green eyes now closed. My eyes fight through the tears and they wind down to see that he is wearing his new Nike's that I had bought him for his birthday. I swore I could feel my heart break into two once I saw those little shoes. Meaning nothing to others but meaning everything to me.  I don't want to remember him in this ghost like state, I want to remember the wonderful father I have loved with all my heart since the first day I was born. I have always been a daddy's girl, no doubt about that.

Thinking back to the time he taught me to throw a baseball, I was 4. The mitt and ball were to big for my stubby little fingers and hands. I was wearing my dads red baseball cap and blue jeans. With my blonde hair blowing with the slight breeze I can remember seeing my dads wonderful smile. His was bigger and brighter than most. I always wanted a smile like his, one to be proud of. I could have gone on forever thinking back to the memories with my dad, but I was interrupted by the sounds of a man with a nice, but loud voice. " Please take your seat we are about to begin." He said sweetly not trying to push me to fast. As I limped down the walkway with my crunches and leg in a cast all I could think was " Why didn't dad break his leg instead of me? Why couldn't I be the one to die? Why must you go? Why?"  Then I took a seat in a row next to my mom and for the first time it felt like he was really gone, tears could be seen on everyone's faces. Me, my eyes stayed dry, knowing that my dad wouldn't want people crying for him, I wouldn't. Sitting there in the silence I swear you could hear my insides being ripped apart by the pain of losing him.

It was her only chocie

Authors note:  This is a creative piece that I wrote. It is about how a girl with mental issues hears voices and how these voices dictate her life. Her parents are never there for her anyways and this is about the last day of her life, when she makes the heart breaking decision to end her life because she  believes that she is burden to everyone and anyone. 

As she walks down the halls people give her dirty looks and push her. She keeps her mouth closed. She wonders why people treat her like this? “Was it something I did? No, how could it be? I have no friends or social life. Why do people hate me?” She ponders this question every day, and every day she comes up with the same answer. “ The voices they made me like this, it’s all their fault. The reason I have no friends or ever will. The reason I never get invited to anything. It’s the voices.. “  The voices had been with her ever since she could remember. They ran her life, influenced every decision she made. They are the ones who put the scars on her wrist in the first place.

When she first put the blade to her wrist she was crying in fear, she just wanted the voices to stop. They claimed that if she did this little favor for them, they would leave her alone. “It will take away all the pain and bad monsters that are inside of you,” they would say. Now she does it to take make them go away for the short period of time she holds the blade to her skin. As soon as the blood was off her arms and the blade was cleaned off the voices were back. “Good job,” they would tell her, “ you let out more of your demands.”  This is the only time the voices were ever pleased with her. Otherwise all they would do is hate on her,” You’re so ugly, Why would you cut yourself? What a bitch, Why would you do that to yourself? That girls is so much better than you. Why would you even think of doing something so stupid? You are stupid. Everyone hates you. No one loves you.” One by one each of these sayings broke her into thousands of little pieces. With each lost pieces she fell apart even more. She was now held together by the tiniest strands of thread, the ones that rip if you even touch them. She was like sand, when the wind comes through she loses more and more of herself every time.

It didn’t help that her parents were never there for her. They had never even come to her elementary school performances. She was used to being on her own. She shopped for herself and her family. Every Tuesday she went to the local market and bought the food she could afford. The only thing her parents made sure to keep stocked up was the alcohol. After living with them for 17 years she knew their routines by heart. They would be asleep still when she left at 7:30 for school, but both gone and out working when she came back at 3. They wouldn’t be home till about 6. (This is when she would sit in the bathroom cutting herself hoping the voices would finally leave her.) This was just a warm up for her though, when the clock struck 6, that was when the real torture started. Her mom always walked in first, no matter what. As they walked through the kitchen the each grab a bottle of vodka and walked into the room. Once the door was closed she knew in about 20 minutes that door would open again and they would both be glossy eyed and hammered. “You ruined everything! How could I give birth to such a disgrace!? Oh! More cuts?! When are you going to grow a pair and actually kill yourself?! “ Her mom would scream this and other words that cut through her heart like a steak knife.

Now with her mother all worked up, this upset her father. “You know your mother has hard days at work and now she comes home and you upset her?! What is your problem?” She had memorized this line. He Said this every night as he pulled back his arm just before he hit her hard across the face. Now she was so used to it there was just a faint sting. She could already feel the redness coming to the right side of her face. Nothing new to her. As she reacted to the slap to her face her father came in with a blow to her stomach. Throw to the floor by the force of the punch, tears rolled down her eyes. He screamed some stomach turning words at her before turning to leave with her mother to the bar for the night. 7:30 was about the time they left every night. They wouldn’t return until 1 or if it was a good night 2. After they left she made her dinner Frozen pizza. As she swallowed a bite of the pizza the voices returned. “ Why are you eating?! You are already fat enough! What is wrong with you?! How many times have we told you not to eat?! How come you never listen?! Are you stupid or something?” With each bite this got worse and worse. After using all her might to ignore the voices she gave in after a piece and a half and went to the bathroom to binge. Five minutes later she walked out of the bathroom only to leave behind the food she had eaten all day and the tears she had cried due to the hurt in her stomach from the bruising of her father’s punch.

Finally before she went off into sleep or as she liked to call it endless nightmares, she weighed herself. It had become a nightly ritual. The cold of the metal scale made her feet shiver. Waiting the five to ten seconds for her number to show up seemed like a year for her. The final number of the day: 97.5.  She hadn’t gained weight in about 6 months. She was pleased with this. For the first time out of the whole day at 8:15 she smiled for once. She then walked into her room and sat at her desk and took her medication. She had full bottle( She had just gotten more the day before) For minutes all she could do was stare at the bottle, with the pills taunting her. Then a light bulb or two went off in her head, she knew it was now or never. She would put all her pain away, forever, and the voices would be gone. As tears filled her eyes she took out a slip of paper from her back pack and a pen from her desk. She knew exactly what to write.

Dear whoever reads this,

Well, this is my final goodbye. Today is the 4^th of March. I am saying this because my parents rarely venture into my room. I am just going to say it, I am going to kill myself as soon as I am done writing this letter. This is not an apology letter. I am not sorry for about to do what I am going to do, but I am sorry for ruining all of your lives. No, you people yourself never told me the voices told me, and they always seem to guide me in the right direction. I would not like a funeral. I have no friends that would attend this event. To tell the truth I have no friends at all. You may find it funny but I haven’t said a word to another person besides a teacher or my parents in over 7 months. To my parents, I don’t blame you for anything that you have done to me ever. I love you with all my heart and you two were my best friends. Just remember since I’m not going to be home anymore, don’t forget to pay the bills and restock the fridge. On the counter is the list on things I usually purchase. I know that you noticed the cuts on my wrist and lower arm. I think you should know that I also have them on my thighs and stomach. You’re not the reason I cut ether. The voices told me that they would leave me alone if I did. They partly told the truth. They left me alone until the blood dried. I am sorry for being such a disappointment in life. May the burden be lifted off your shoulders. I do not wish for a funeral, or article in the paper and even an announcement at my school. It would just add extra unimportant work to others days who did nothing to deserved the disgrace of looking or talking about me. The only thing I want is for the voices to stop, they are why everyone hates me. I apologize for not being normal. May one day all of your lives be how they were supposed to be before I came along. There is one person who I would like to thank and that is my doctor, the medication he has been prescribing me for years now has made things better than before I had the medication. You are what keep me alive for this long. Everyone has a time, this is just my time. My breaking point. I don’t know why I keep apologizing. With you I will leave my most priced items, my blades. I own 5, each one sharper than the other. I have owned the first one since I was 11. That was the age I was when I first cut. I can safely say I am addicted and I will now tell you that I cut every day. I don’t know why this letter is so long, it’s not like anyone really cares. I am probably going to hell for this but it is what I need to do. I love you. I am sorry. Don’t think any of this is your fault. Your life will be better without me.

Love,

Lizzy

She then took all the pills, one by one. With each pill sliding down her throat she felt herself slip away a little more. Placed the empty pill bottle on the note with her blades and laid on her bed. Finally after going through that same thing every day year after year she was going to be free. She looked to the clock and it was 10:45 and once she looked away from the clock the voices stopped that that’s when she knew she was free. Tears filled her eyes and a smile wider than any she had shown in years came upon her face. She closed her eyes and she was happy and free at last. 

Wonderland

Authors note: This is a poem about wonderland. When I think about wonderland my thoughts go to the movie Alice In Wonderland, so that is what I based my poem off of. In the movie Alice is lost and just wants to go home. At one point she doesn't know what is real and what isn't. h

I'm lost

Where am i?

Unreal things

Cats with stripes

Flowers that  talk

Animals wearing coats

I'm confused

Food that makes me grow

Or shrink

Queen of hearts

What is this place?

I wonder

Why was I sent here

Is it a dream

What do i know?

What is true?

I'm lost

I'm scared

I'm confused

I want to go home

I'm in a wonderland

My name is Alice.  

Society Sucks

Authors note: This is a creative piece that I wrote over a couple of days. It is about how society forces us to do things that we don't even realize they could be potentially hurting us. This is about why our society is bad for us. It tells us what looks good, when in reality it is hurting us. 





"Ew, you're not a size zero? That's Gross!" That's what society tell us is acceptable. Being so thin that you can see the outline of your bones. "Oh you don't wear makeup.." Society tell us that if you don't wear makeup you're not beautiful. "You don't have a boyfriend.." Society makes it seems like you are "forever alone," if you don't have a boyfriend. "You haven't had your first kiss?!" To society you are prude, but on other hands if you have had your first kiss you are "easy," to get with. We didn't choose to be this way, we were forced and molded to fit society's idea of perfection. When reality is who cares if you aren't a size 0? Who gives a crap if you wear makeup of not? You're not forever alone if you don't have a boyfriend. It doesn't matter if you have had your first kiss or not. Honestly, it is your life, you just need to make yourself happy, not society. 

The girls of today are being forced to diet and fast at younger and younger ages because they aren't "normal," according to society. There are proven facts that girls who starved themselves are more likely to develop an eating disorder. Girls that are admitted into anorexic facility s are getting younger and younger every year. Some girls that are admitted are as young as 8. I think one of the main factors is that they want to be society's definition of beautiful, Size 0 or smaller. These girls are 8, they haven't even hit puberty and they are worrying about their weight. Girls aspire to have the body of a model, tall and thin. To most girls the height doesn't even worry them. All they hear is thin. It is constantly reminding them, " You're striving to be thin. Do you want to be as skinny as her or not. Not eating makes you thinner. Don't eat no more calories. " When reality is that if you are not eating you are not losing weight at all. You are actually gaining weight. You store more fat calories in your body to help you from not starving. Being able to see all your rib bones also isn't perfection. It's like looking at a skeleton with a thin almost transparent layer of skin.

With being thin to the bone girls as little as 8 are wearing full blown makeup to school. With our society by that age they are insecure about their faces. Why should these little girls be insecure about their faces and bodies when they don't have zits or boobs yet? They have nothing that the other little girls their age don't have. Mother who wear makeup tend to influence their little girls to want to wear makeup because they always wear makeup and are never seen without it. I believe that  this makes the girls think that they must never ever been seen without makeup, even at that young of a age. They are showing up to school in full blow eyeliner and mascara. Then by the time they should be starting to wear makeup, they are wearing too much or wearing really dark colors making it look inappropriate. Girls are wearing makeup because society tells them that makeup is the only way to have "true beauty". What society also tells us about makeup is that you can't just wear a little you have to wear a lot if you want to look like the girls that advertise that makeup. 

Wearing makeup makes you "pretty," and you have to be "pretty," to have a boyfriend. I agree it is okay to have crushes in elementary but I don't think that it is okay to have a boyfriend when you are elementary school. Girls are more worried about having or not having a boyfriend than rather being focused on getting good grades and hanging out with your friends.  Girls are worried about this because even the 10-12 year old celebrities have boyfriends that they are “ in love,” with. This makes little girls think that they need to have a boyfriend to be cool. That if they want to be like the 10-12 year old celebrities. 

That is why girls want a boyfriend at such a young age, but then they get judged about what they do with their boyfriend. If they haven’t kisses they are lame and a loser. Some may even call them prude, but if they have done anything they are now all the sudden easy to get with. First of all, these girls are in elementary to middle school. Yes, must admit I think it is okay to kiss boys, but they shouldn’t be doing any more than that. For the ones in elementary they shouldn’t even know what things past maybe making out are. Second of all, it isn’t the whole worlds business if you have boyfriend or not and if you do if you have kissed or anything. In my opinion it is between you and your boyfriend and maybe your best friend who you can trust to keep that secret. 

No matter what we do or what we look like we can never please society. I think the only way we would be able to please it, is if everyone looked like a barbie, “Perfect.” You get judged no matter what you look like. What jean size you wear. If you have a boyfriend or not. Who you hang out with. Anything you could possibly think of you get judged on. Why must society do this to us? I doubt we will never know. Society should know something too, no one will ever be perfect or even close to it. Society isn’t perfect either.

Lies, Lies , And More Lies

Authors Note: This is my point of view piece. I used that song " 50 Ways To Say Goodbye," by the band Train. This piece is about how point of view effects how we see or interpret the song. If it was in a different point of view we would think different of the song. I have put the lyrics of the song below so you can see the whole song.   




"50 Ways To Say Goodbye"
            Train
My heart is paralyzed
My head was oversized
I'll take the high road like I should
You said it's meant to be
That it's not you, it's me
You're leaving now for my own good

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Someday I'll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She'll think I'm Superman
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one you're dying to love...
But you don't want to

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died


50 Ways To Say Goodbye was a song written by Train. It's about  his girlfriend broke up with him and he is ashamed to tell his friends so he says that she died and that he isn't devastated. The whole song is basically him thinking of as many ways to tell his friends how his ex "died". In the first stanza it says that she broke up with him because this head was over sized and that it was because he had her. It also says that she left him for his own good. The song was written in the boys point of view, he was heartbroken and didn't want to look like a loser or weak in front of his friends because his heart was broken. 

If the song was written in the girls point of view I think that the song would say how he was too cocky and braggy about what he had. So, she left him and she thought that leaving him would make him change to the way he was before. Instead of changing he tells everyone that she died and that he doesn’t really care for her anymore even though on the inside he is heartbroken and devastated. The girl is probably astonished that he would tell her that he loves her but then go off and tell his friends that he has no more feelings for her and isn’t upset at all. 

I think the girl would also be hurt because he lied to all of his friends and said that she died, instead of telling the truth by just saying that they broke up. In my mind he betrays her by making up useless lies about how she died. The ways that he says she dies aren’t even reasonable lies. “She was caught in a mudslide Eaten by a lion Got run over by a crappy purple Scion Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes! She dried up in the desert Drowned in a hot tub  Danced to death at an east side night club” This is part of one stanza from the song, all of these are very unusual ways to die. 

50 Ways To Say Goodbye was written in the point of view of the heart broken or the boy. If it was written in the girls point of view the song would be totally different. The song could change so much just from changing the point of view it comes from,( or the person). Point of view matters, you may not realized it but it is in every piece of writing. Even in the sentences that come out of our very own mouths. The point of view of the song is that he is heartbroken yet.

You can get through anything

Authors note: Theme loss of Innocence. This is about how in the book speak Melinda losses her innocence and how she over powers the judgement of her peers. 

Within one night she had gone from being a nobody to a somebody, that everyone hated. Melinda would do anything to take that night back. She thought she was "cool" because she was a freshman, a freshman invited to a senior party. Senior parties are the "best" part of the whole high school experience, alcohol, popular girls, popular boys, maybe even a place where you can "hook up" with someone. Melinda being a freshman was more excited and nervous than ever. She fell into peer pressure and got drunk, she thought it was going to be the best night of her life. A boy and her went into the woods. She was so drunk she couldn't make the name face connection. She thought they were going to make out and it was going to be fun. At first that's all that happened. Within a instant she was thrown to the floor with him reaching for her zipper. She didn't want this to happen. For the record she didn't even know what he was going to do to her. In the book Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson, Melinda lost her "innocence", which caused her to be an outcast among her friend. We learn that, even though we might go through hard times, we should never give up.  

Melinda was raped, by a stranger, no, a peer that she would be in classes with. She was scared, mortified, nerveless terrified. If anyone found out, she feared that she would become the schools' "whore". That people would only want her for body and what she would do to them not for what who she really was.  She felt like she had become the kid in elementary school that had a cel phone, everyone's eyes were on her. Except this was different. She was no longer a "goodie goodie".

Melinda had also lost her innocence of being a child, having fun. That night was the night she lost her nights playing with her friends.  No more little kid this little kid that.  There was no more mom there to kiss your knee when you fall down, no more mom to bring you warm milk when you can't sleep, and no more Santa it was all gone.She was in high school.  It was time for her to take responsibly for her actions. She had lost the innocence of having friends that are there for no matter what. This was high school where friends where there when your life was good and not when it wasn't, will talk behind your back to some one else, and get jealous. 

Melinda lost herself also she lost her life, her friends, to personally, everything. She was depressed and was on a road to now where.  She was lost in her own world where she was alone and had no where and no one to go to. She lost it, she hurt herself, she felt as if it was better than feeling the pain. Seeing the blood fall down her arms in droplets took her mind to other places. For a second she was focused on nothing other than the ruby red color of her fresh blood dropping slowly down her wrist. She lost her innocence of herself, she had been in so much pain it was almost better to have the cuts and bruises than to feel her heartbreak into a million little pieces. 

Melinda, lost herself for some time. She didn't know where she was to go. She kept pushing through and finally she made it through. She was terrified all the way through. She never gave up and she got where she wanted to be. She learned that true friends wont judge her for what happened to her that they will stick with you through thick and thin. She learned who any people thought nothing of her because she lost her virginity. She lost herself. She lost everything. Melinda pushed through and at the end of the tunnel there was light.